PART ONE
Telanovelas and Lake Kivu
I just returned from a magnificent getaway to Lake Kivu and the town of Kibuye. I will go into details in a bit but first I wanted to touch on some aspects of my home life that I particularly noticed today when I got back and can’t believe I haven’t shared yet!
I normally get back to the house at around seven-thirty p.m. on the weekdays after class, time at Internet cafes and exploring Kigali. When I get back, dinner is kind of almost ready. I can always count on my host sisters, Camilla and Lamia, as well as my Aunt to be in the first room on the right of my complex. I drop on in and sit down with them to watch one of the most interesting phenomena in Rwandan life, the Mexican telanovela. As some of you may know, the telenovela is basically a Mexican soap opera complete with high drama, shoddy acting and outrageous storylines. The two most popular in Rwanda are “Hidden Passion” and “Cuidado con el Angel.” Some interesting soul has taken the time to dub over these shows in English and broadcast them on what I think is a Tanzanian channel. My family LOVES these shows. The most watched in our household is Cuidado con el Angel, a show where one woman has a child, numerous lovers, and mommy issues. She is an actress that stars in a Mexican adaptation of “The Glass Menagerie,” which without fail appears in the show in some aspect. The show is total emotional chaos and it is hysterical to see my sisters yell and laugh at the TV. Good times.
I know I have mentioned the food here (starch, starch, starch) but I forgot to mention how fun it is to eat it. Remember when you were a kid, or if you are a kid, how awesome it is/was to eat food with out utensils using only your own two hands. Well it is not only accepted, but also encouraged to eat with your hands in my household. I think it adds considerably to the eating experience when you can soak up some broth in your rice, mix it with some veggies, and stuff it in your mouth with your hands. Each meal I end up with hands covered in my dinner, and each meal I end up totally satisfied.
Ok, enough about home things, time for vacationish things.
As I mentioned before my group and I went on a three-day excursion to Kibuye, a town on the shores of Lake Kivu. The drive to get there was took us almost directly west and over increasingly larger hills. I don’t think I have experienced a more winding road. On the way there we stopped at a waterfall by the side of the road for lunch. Over the course of our meal a crowed gathered to observe us. As I mentioned before, we muzungus are such a rarity that people will literally stop what they are doing and spend a good twenty to thirty minutes just observing us.
After lunch we continued our drive and eventually spotted the lake. Wow. Lake Kivu is the eight largest lake in the world and I think in the top three (?) deepest lakes. The color of the lake is comparable to the water in the Caribbean: turquoises, greens and blues. It stretches as far as the eye can see and beyond. It forms part of the border between Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. During the genocide a large number of Genocide perpetrators actually fled this direction to seek refuge in the Congo and many still operate there today. If you have been keeping abreast of the international news recently you might have heard of the UN report on the Rwandan forces performing potential genocide themselves on these refugees in the Congo. It’s easy to see how interlaced these countries politics are.
Our hotel was perched right on the lake in a little peninsula. The guys were all put in one room, it’s been a while since I have been able to sleep in a top bunk so I appreciated the set-up. The ladies were spaced out in three different rooms. The hotel was great. Amazing views, good food, and great water access. We spent the first day just decompressing, swimming, and enjoying each other’s company. A well deserved break if I do say so myself. Day two involved us taking a chartered boat out for the late morning and early afternoon. It was incredibly cheap (1,500 Rwandan Francs a person, about 3 USD) and we were taken to a large island out on the lake. After an interesting hike in flip-flops we made it about 3/4ths of the way up the islands slopes. Our captain slipped into the trees and started making a lot of noise and shaking some branches. The trees exploded in activity and thousands of bats, yes bats, exploded out of them. For a good five minutes these nocturnal critters swarmed above us dropping unexpected gifts of feces down upon us and created a very interesting photo op. An unexpected explosion of creatures that was appreciated by everyone. Very cool!
After the bat island we made our way Amahoro Island. Amahoro means peace in Kinyarwanda. On this island there is a volleyball court and bar. We hung out there for about an hour, playing around swimming and relaxing in hammocks. Eventually it was time for us to return. We reluctantly climbed back into the boat and made our way home, quickly stopping to see some sea birds first, and then booking it back. Upon our arrival our Academic Advisor, Stephanie, who had been in Uganda for the past 10 days at a workshop, greeted us.
We had a class session that evening with her on Peace, Justice, Reconciliation, Truth, Healing and Forgiveness. We were split into group and told to define one of the words and explain how it was related to all of the others and how it ranked in importance compared to the rest of the words. We basically came to the conclusion that each word and definition lends clarity and importance to the other words and with out all (or most of them) then something in the reconciliation process is missing. It was a fascinating session and it was interesting to think how I defined and linked Peace, Justice, Reconciliation, Truth, Healing and Forgiveness. Thoughts?
Dinner that evening was Mac and cheese… miss that American food. Lots of folks are already making lists of what food they miss most, I have yet to sink to that level, but I think my grandmothers Mac and cheese may top the list. That night we watched “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” a movie that I was introduced to this past summer and really enjoy. Some people love it, some hate it (like my father), and the group seemed pretty evenly split. For the second time in about a month… I loved it.
The next morning we had a class and then left at ten-thirty on a bus back to Kigali. As I mentioned before, the roads were incredibly windy. Allie, a Bates student in our crew, was sitting in the back seat next to three Rwandans. One man apparently did not take the turns very well. One of the men looked at Allie, smiled and told her to move. She just laughed nervously and stared ahead. What she didn’t realize until about thirty seconds later was that the man next to her was about to get sick. He reached into his bag, pulled out a pair of pants, and proceeded to vomit into them for the remainder of the trip. Allie made her way forward and wedged herself in to a row of four in order to escape any stray sickness. Gotta love the public transport!
Tomorrow I get to go to a wedding! My friend David who accompanied me to the funeral of my host grandmother has asked me if I wanted to be his muzungu support for a wedding his family is attending. I feel like I have been lucky thus far to experience some key events and ceremonies in Rwandan life. I can’t wait to see how this wedding works!
Muzungu currently wishing he were by the shores of Lake Kivu, now in Kigali, Rwanda
PART DEUX
The Wedding
A few weeks ago when there was a death in my family, I invited David to the funeral. This weekend he returned the favor and had me join him at a traditional Rwandan wedding in Remera. We were told the wedding was going to start at 1 o’clock and end at four. We neglected Africa time and the ceremony began at around three and concluded at around five-thirty followed shortly after by a reception that we were only able to escape at nine-thirty.
The wedding itself was a complex and symbolic affair. It all started off with dancers and singers performing while the guests trickled in. The guests sat on either side of the lawn of the house, on the left were the grooms guests and on the right the brides guests. Once the guests were seated then the highest-ranking men in each family were seated on their respective sides of the lawn at tables and handed microphones. All the guests were given drinks and the proceedings began.
The mother of the bride was required to stay in the house at all times which bothered me a little bit as I found it to be a part of the ceremony that seemed to reinforce the role of a woman as being bound to the home. Although I understand traditionally how that might have come about with the mother symbolically giving her daughter away and having the mother remain as a presence in the ancestral home.
As for the males, the father of the groom was required to stay at his home that was a good fifteen minutes away by car. All the wedding ceremonies occurred at the bride’s house. After the event the groom’s side of the wedding party returned to the groom’s house and a high-ranking male explained the goings on to the father of the groom in a ceremonial fashion.
But as for the actual wedding, the appointed men from each family basically bantered for and hour and a half. Although it was all in Kinyarwanda, David and I had a helpful translator in a man named Emmanuel; every ten minutes or so he would give us a brief recap of the conversation. It seems that the family of the bride makes excuses as to why the bride isn’t going to marry, ex. She is going to be a nun, she is traveling abroad, she is already married, etc. The family of the groom had to shoot down all of these excuses and claims to have talked to the bride and convinced her to go through with the wedding. This back and forth continues for about an hour. David and I were also involved as the brides’ family asked if the Muzungus were part of the male’s clan. They claimed that indeed we were and that more Muzungus were coming. Through out this whole process, gifts are exchanged between the two parties. These are used to sweeten the deal apparently and alcohol seemed to be a key exchange.
In this culture, cattle used to be a hugely important economic sign of wealth. The final part of the exchange is when the grooms’ family gives cattle to the other family. The men from the brides’ side leave the complex and go out side to inspect the, in this case, twenty-four cows that were being given. Then, two men dressed as shepherds came out and sang about the cows and how good they were, then they were rewarded with beer. Finally, dancers emerged and after them came the bride and the groom and their wedding party. They were seated in the middle of everyone, pictures were taken, some kinds of vows were said and the marriage was over!
As we were leaving we talked to one Rwandese who told us that the wedding was not a marriage between two individuals, but between two families. He explained that a major part of the ceremony was that the two families accepted each other and could exist together. The showering of gifts and cattle was important as well to show each family that they were wealthy enough to support each other. This seemed strange compared to the American wedding traditions when it is all decided before hand and all that is left is the planned out, official ceremony at, in my experience, a church. The focus is very much on the individuals but here family is key. As I mentioned in my commentary on the funeral, families here are very large and economically important as they all rely on each other. They are also bonded socially as many events draw their guests from the family. It is a fascinating culture.
There was one dark blemish on our evening though. At the reception we met a man named Jeff, a Rwandan who was raised in Kenya. When discussing the wedding with him, he mentioned how the match between the couple was accepted. The parents decide according to heritage and standing if the match will be a suitable one. Jeff let slip that the two getting married were both Tutsi. He then said that a match between a Hutu and Tutsi would never be accepted. He claimed that no parent would permit their child to marry someone “from the other side.” What! After all the talk about reconciliation and peace building we have been hearing about this came as an absolute shock. It just goes to show that no matter how happy and reconciled the government and other parties try to make it seem on the surface there is still simmering tensions present in the populace.
It also might be an indicator of tension among the wealthier classes. As I mentioned in the post on the Women’s cooperative, it seems that when a society is impoverished and absolutely must work together to survive that opposing parties must work together and therefore address their difference and resolve their quarrels more quickly. In these wealthier echelons of society, these families are fine on their own and do not need the help of their neighbors to get by. Therefore, they have never addressed those who wronged them and have simply let their anger remain as a dividing force.
Muzungu currently in Kigali, Rwanda with one week left in this incredibly interesting city.
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